Ernie's Memorial

Sorry that it has been a while since I have written. My focus has been on another project that is so close to happening I can taste it. I can't wait to start blogging about it when the project is accepted.

Last Sunday we had a memorial for Ernie Sr. - the oldest teenager I had ever met. Ernie is glorified in the Burn Ward as the man who was into cars, owned a few toy stores and hired me to play Santa Claus for him on the weekends. You couldn't help but love the man. He came into my life at a time I needed an adult to befriend the most. Little did I know how silly, fun loving, and "normal" he was. I loved him from the get go. When I learned he died I was rocked.

I am a firm believer that people are brought into your life for a reason. I knew from the start that he was in my life to show me people were just people, regardless of their age.

When his son (Little Ernie) asked me to play a song for him at the funeral, I sat down and composed a little song in a country western type beat. It felt corny and I knew that I needed to play something he would love - like the jam from Pink Floyd he used to play at volume 11! I visualized myself sitting in front of the crowd with guitar in hand and asking the congregation what song they wanted to hear. Suddenly "Free Bird" shouted in my head. How perfect was that!!! We must have listend to that song together a zillion times! So that's what I played. In fact people were even crying to it. Yes Ernie was a free bird, not with his family, but in regards to societal rules.

The story doesn't end here however. Last night I had an interesting dream about Ernie. I was outside some building, on top of a concrete type stairway with a path that led to a hilly countryside and off to the side of the building Big Ernie came bounding right to me. I hugged him with all my might. I couldn't believe he was there. He told me he didn't have time to stay, turned, walked down the stairs and walked off with determination towards the countryside.

I always wondered what it was like in the death process. I have always focused on the leaving my body part, but never really focused on what was next. I always assumed there was a white light to go into, but what if it was like the dream. I felt that with so many people having such intense love for the man, he was one by one visiting everybody and saying his last goodbyes. I was just honored that I was also included, in not seeing him for a long time. (Ernie had moved to Indiana and had been living there for years). What if we visited those who loved us before we ultimately left? An interesting concept.

I have heard stories of people seeing visions, while they were awake of recently departed family and loved ones. Children often comment of interacting with Grandma or Grandpa after they had departed. One thing for sure, I don't know, and we as a society sure as hell don't talk about this subject one bit. Maybe we don't want to know. What's the point? The body is gone, the person is not in the same format, and we would look like we've lost our minds interacting with the departed.

I used to watch the John Edwards show, like religion. He had a popular show at the time about communicating with the dead. Oh my, how people flocked to a live viewing and either these were great actors or it was the real thing. I tend to be gullible anyway, and ate it up like candy. I have always wanted to believe that our soul moves on. Why do you think I studied spiritual psychology in school. In Spiritual Psychology the belief is that we have a soul, every problem and issue overcome helps our soul improve, therefore not only is there a purpose for us being here in the first place, but also a reason why we face life's difficulties. It is a soul centered approach. My dream last night showed me something, but what was it? Was it my deep desire to see the man again and my brain concocted something? Or... Perhaps it was the real thing.

This part of life intrigues me. It's all because we all have to ultimately face our mortality either consciously or face it when our soul lifts out of our body - and I have already had a few of those experiences.

Sorry for the delay in writing, my energies have been in a different place currently - for good reason.

In regards to the book, many people at the funeral stopped me and told me they had read the book. All comments were great! However most were of shock that I could write so honestly and intimately.

So far, so good. Life happily marches on.