Not a Dry Eye in the Crowd.

Johnny boy called today and gave me the reviews on the funeral. "Dude you should be a funeral crasher! You made everybody cry! There wasn't a dry eye in the house." That's my boy. At least I have one fan - and a goodie.

As the memories begin to fade after them being at their height for the past month or so I wish Ernie and his family peace. Loss is an interesting beast. How do we purge ourselves of all the memories and the desire to be close with somebody that is no longer there? I think all the memories serve as the mind's way of keeping the recently departed alive and with us. Unfortunately there isn't a time frame for this. It is natural to go through this process for years. I find myself having the urge to call my grandmother from time to time and she has been dead for almost ten years!

My advise: Instead of fighting the process - embrace it. Write letters to the departed. Opposite hand writing is an incredible tool as well. Simply write out a greating to the departed person with your dominate hand and with the opposite hand allow the departed to respond. Please don't judge the process. Just allow whatever is present to be communicated. This is not a logical tool, it is an emotional one teetering on the spiritual. You will be amazed in what transpires. After the communication rip it up. The exercise is for releasing and keeping these interactions will only keep you stuck in your current state. Or do you want to remain depressed, mourning, and possibly sick. Some do like feeling badly to see if others care about them. Sad but true. If this describes you, contact me and we will set up some counseling sessions if you want to work through this dynamic.

Life is short and the afterlife... Well that is another blog.

Enjoy!

Ernie's Memorial

Sorry that it has been a while since I have written. My focus has been on another project that is so close to happening I can taste it. I can't wait to start blogging about it when the project is accepted.

Last Sunday we had a memorial for Ernie Sr. - the oldest teenager I had ever met. Ernie is glorified in the Burn Ward as the man who was into cars, owned a few toy stores and hired me to play Santa Claus for him on the weekends. You couldn't help but love the man. He came into my life at a time I needed an adult to befriend the most. Little did I know how silly, fun loving, and "normal" he was. I loved him from the get go. When I learned he died I was rocked.

I am a firm believer that people are brought into your life for a reason. I knew from the start that he was in my life to show me people were just people, regardless of their age.

When his son (Little Ernie) asked me to play a song for him at the funeral, I sat down and composed a little song in a country western type beat. It felt corny and I knew that I needed to play something he would love - like the jam from Pink Floyd he used to play at volume 11! I visualized myself sitting in front of the crowd with guitar in hand and asking the congregation what song they wanted to hear. Suddenly "Free Bird" shouted in my head. How perfect was that!!! We must have listend to that song together a zillion times! So that's what I played. In fact people were even crying to it. Yes Ernie was a free bird, not with his family, but in regards to societal rules.

The story doesn't end here however. Last night I had an interesting dream about Ernie. I was outside some building, on top of a concrete type stairway with a path that led to a hilly countryside and off to the side of the building Big Ernie came bounding right to me. I hugged him with all my might. I couldn't believe he was there. He told me he didn't have time to stay, turned, walked down the stairs and walked off with determination towards the countryside.

I always wondered what it was like in the death process. I have always focused on the leaving my body part, but never really focused on what was next. I always assumed there was a white light to go into, but what if it was like the dream. I felt that with so many people having such intense love for the man, he was one by one visiting everybody and saying his last goodbyes. I was just honored that I was also included, in not seeing him for a long time. (Ernie had moved to Indiana and had been living there for years). What if we visited those who loved us before we ultimately left? An interesting concept.

I have heard stories of people seeing visions, while they were awake of recently departed family and loved ones. Children often comment of interacting with Grandma or Grandpa after they had departed. One thing for sure, I don't know, and we as a society sure as hell don't talk about this subject one bit. Maybe we don't want to know. What's the point? The body is gone, the person is not in the same format, and we would look like we've lost our minds interacting with the departed.

I used to watch the John Edwards show, like religion. He had a popular show at the time about communicating with the dead. Oh my, how people flocked to a live viewing and either these were great actors or it was the real thing. I tend to be gullible anyway, and ate it up like candy. I have always wanted to believe that our soul moves on. Why do you think I studied spiritual psychology in school. In Spiritual Psychology the belief is that we have a soul, every problem and issue overcome helps our soul improve, therefore not only is there a purpose for us being here in the first place, but also a reason why we face life's difficulties. It is a soul centered approach. My dream last night showed me something, but what was it? Was it my deep desire to see the man again and my brain concocted something? Or... Perhaps it was the real thing.

This part of life intrigues me. It's all because we all have to ultimately face our mortality either consciously or face it when our soul lifts out of our body - and I have already had a few of those experiences.

Sorry for the delay in writing, my energies have been in a different place currently - for good reason.

In regards to the book, many people at the funeral stopped me and told me they had read the book. All comments were great! However most were of shock that I could write so honestly and intimately.

So far, so good. Life happily marches on.

Glen

Johnny Boy read the book and loved it. He he. Glen just contacted me and I can't wait to see what is on his mind. Big Ernie is having a memorial service next month and I can't wait to see the old crowd. There is a ton of people omitted from the book for whatever reason that will be great to see. Lots of softball buddies, co-workers when I cleaned swimming pools, and of course the family.

I think about Glen from time to time. He had it very difficult when at the Burn Ward. He was the person to blame and took the brunt of the jokes for whatever reason. But one thing for sure, Glen had a great attitude and was always able to pick himself up after crashing.

I'll give him a call and pass on the info if it needs to be. God bless.

Opportunity?

I was contacted today by a publisher I contacted about four years ago. The wheels of commerce move slowly in my world I guess. The salesman was interested in having me sign up for marketing services. X amount of books would be hard bound, the other percent would be in soft cover. Worldwide distribution and Books would be in Barnes and Nobles ONLINE of course as well as other distributors. All for the amazing cost to me of $1,200.00. This would of course include printed post cards, book marks, posters, and electronic downloads to Kindle type devices - which to me was awesome. All it took was a $200.00 deposit for me, they would hook me up with a marketing genius and after all the dust settles I guess it would cost me $5,000.00.

I wish I did have the money. Having another person or entity involved in the marketing process would be great. They have the expertise in the area. All I know is how to type - though some would argue this.

How sweet it would be to walk into a bookstore, plop myself down at a table with my poster hanging behind me and a gaggle of fans lining up to talk to me, purchase a book and ask me to sign hidden body parts with my magic marker. :-)

Well let's see what I can manifest. Obviouly working as a handyman for the past few months has led me in another direction. Also the talks with Mike regarding the upcoming game has limited my attention to not only the Burn Ward book, but also to the Crisis Management: Step by Step beauty that the publisher was really interested in promoting.

I always thought that the Burn Ward book would foster more attention than the crisis management one. I have learned that people are basically happy with their emotional health, no matter how damaged it was. "This is how I am and will always be" is what I have witnessed. Little do people know that it takes not that much effort to make drastic changes for the better in ones life, but I think that we get comfortable with our predicaments.

So for now I will mull this around. I have a hot desert that awaits me. Of course I choose to deliver a piece of furniture there for my future mother in law. I will attempt to finish tiling and grouting the bathroom, which will complete the entire house! Unfortunately, I believe it is the hottest day of the year and I will be there solo. No help from Collette's father. Thank God Rex the wonder dog AKA "Velcro" is there to slobber on me and follow me around like glue.

Peace.

Hi Everybody

Life is incredibly busy lately which is great news! I have a wonderful family, a challenging relationship with myself which plays out in my relationship at home. Why is keeping myself positive such a struggle at time anyway? I should be happy. I have two homes, a wonderful fiance who puts up with me - though I am low maintanence. I have two plus families, almost too much to keep up with. I have friends that are as close and even closer than my family. My work is incredible due to the amazing staff that keeps me laughing constantly - and they love my sick ass jokes. Oops I cuzzed.

All thoughts about the Burn Ward have been on hold until the book is reedited. A lot of people lately have actually been buying my other book - Crisis Management Step by Step. It seems that more and more are in crisis and need a step by step book on how to work through the tough times. Thank God I have my own personal copy which has been helping me through this burn out period.

I have an energy button on me that has been on go for a long time. I have been writing, doing home improvement projects for self and family simultaneously, now I am tossing around amazing ideas for a relationship game. Believe me it is all good - but sometimes the all good stuff needs to rest.

So forgive me if I haven't blogged recently. More is coming soon.

AHHHHHHHH

There are certain people in my life that perk me up whenever they enter the room. I saw this clearly in my grandmother before she died. She would almost levitate off the ground upon seeing me. Her joy abounded!! When Ernie Sr. recently died it was as if the person that gave me that jolt was no longer around. That was until I got a phone call from his son today - that same jolt hit me.

Ernie and I talked briefly about how similiar him and his father were. It was as if they were clones of each other. Both of them loved life fully and got everyone around them into a festive mood.

Ernie Sr's legacy definetly lives on in his son. Ernie Jr. has gone on to coach his daughters to the state championships in soccer, he has become extremely successful in business and has been happily married going on twenty years. He is a definite inspiration.

We never know how much inspiration others gain in our actions. In the mental health field I have been changing my approach lately and have been trying to incorporate the "jolt". A long time great listener, I thought it was crucial to lend an ear to somebody and have them felt heard. It is nice to be heard, but how often have we not only felt appreciated but loved? In adoring somebody, incredible healing can take place.

Test it out. In your next communication with somebody, instead of pointing out their failures, simply focus on their beauty instead. People with mental health issues become more confident within themselves in response to this.

Sorry, didn't mean to go off on a mental health tangent, but human behavior is simply facinating to me. We weren't ever given a hand book on how to live life so I am trying to scoop up as much information through trial and error as I possibly can. In reading the Burn Ward book you become acutely aware of my errors.

Anyway, thank you Ernie Sr. for your influence, same to you Ernie Jr.

Echo's From the Past

As I sit here and watch the L.A. Lakers play the Boston Celtics in game 7 of the world championship series, I am aware of all the echo's from my past. Lakers, Celtics, fans screaming, physical play, the referee's missing calls - the only missing element is Chick Hearn. Oh how I loved it when he put games in his infamous refrigerator. "The door is closed. The lights are out. The butter's getting hard. And the Jello's Jiggling!"

It's half time and the Lakers are down. Jerry West would bring them back. So would Magic Johnson. Now it is up to Kobe Bryant. Hey I got bit a long time ago. Not at the Burn Ward. I have been a fan ever since Wilt Chamberlain played. Wilt the Stilt was my favorite, then Kareem - originally Lew Alcindor, now it is Kobe Bryant.

I've taken a lot of flak from people for liking a suposed rapist and a man they see as arrogant. People can hate success. Let's face it, this guy excells at what he does - as does Lebron James and hundreds of others in the NBA. I like seeing somebody, so confident, taking care of business.

This is the great American past time - as is World Cup Soccer which is going on now. The kitchen staff at the facility I work at was going nuts today with Mexico beating France. You would have thought it was Cinco De Mayo around here!

Basketball - actually Laker basketball reminds me of my youth. The sky hook, underhand free throw shots, no three point line. Three free throw attempts to make two in the bonus. My oh my has the game changed - for the better. Now we have high flying acrobats from Shannon Brown. Derek Fisher - old in the leagues terms - playing like a teenager.

Obviously I am chomping at the bit, waiting for the second half to begin.

I'll leave with a story about my all time favorite Magic Johnson.

I went to Hawaii after the Lakers beat Detroit in seven games. Wouldn't you know it while I was waiting for the elevator the doors opened and there stood a smiling Magic Johnson. He was staying at my same hotel. Excited I shadowed my hero and followed him into the pool for a friendly game of volleyball with the other vacationers. When I came face to face with Magic from the other side of the net I said, "Hey Magic, I am going to block your spike," with a grin. Magic smiled and nodded and said "Bring it on." Well it took a few moments and my opportunity came. They set the ball to him perfectly and while laughing I leaped out of the water and was looking down on my hero. Magic simply tipped the ball over my outstretched hands and in slow motion I watched the ball sadly drop onto the water beneath me. All were laughing including Magic and myself.

Have a great evening. GO LAKERS!!!