Return to Dad's

This past weekend was like heaven and hell. Being reunited with my father is a real treat. Yes, as you read in the book, my early years with my father were horrible and set inside of me a lot of anxiety, fear, panic, etc. Fast forward to the present, my father and I have not only worked through our issues, but are as close as two can get - and I write this with pride. How often can the abuser and the abusee hash things out and find unconditional love? Well us two sure have.

It is funny even typing this. I mean funny strange. I haven't thought about my abusive father for years! He has been my best friend for over twenty years and if it wasn't this way, I would have never agreed to what I did for him this past weekend.

If you didn't know by now I like construction. Yes the part inside of me that studied architecture still yearns for creative expression. Well when my father asked me to help him with his home rennovation, I jumped at the offer. This, I thought would give us a project to do together, you know the father son thing, and do some real male bonding. When I showed up with tile saw in hand, I felt like an ant facing a mountain!

You would think that this would be a family affair. Home improvement projects usually are. But where was my brother? Off to a softball game? You've got to be kidding! And for my dad, well unfortunatly his back went out and instead of working on his floor, I was massaging his back! The saddest thing - nobody cleaned out the rooms I had to tile, so there I was on my own, pulling out furniture, closests, nasty carpeting, and scrapping the floors on my own. Don't four people live there?

Aching and angry as hell I wondered if God was punishing me or teaching me some spiritual lesson. Why was I always the responsible one. I just want to have fun - sound familiar?

So with scrapper in hand I started to sing out a church hymn. I figured if I was in hell at least I could ask God to join me. As soon as the lyrics came out my phone started to ring. One sister, the other, her husband, even my brother and his wife returned. Like magic I was surrounded by a loving, and helpful family and we were all working as a team! Eric was unloading material, Samantha was cutting tile, Mara was buttering up tiles, David was bringing tiles to me, Michelle was setting tiles, and I was slapping down tiles like nobodies business! As a team we jammed! Unfortunately the team work wasn't this way the day before, but hey I'm not complaining anymore - this was what I had imagined from the start.

Though we are a dysfunctional bunch, when motivated we can accomplish great things. Again, this project just began and I have a lot of weekends ahead of transforming my dad's place. But one thing is for certain - though dysfunctional our family is full of love for each other and I feel proud to be part of it!

Happy reading - tell a friend.